Saturday, September 04, 2004

I'm now into my third day of my pre-return-to-university jogging regime, making this my most successful campaign yet. when i'm fully into my stride i notice my grunts and wheezes allign themselves into a schaffel rhythm...anyone interested in signing up my trachea?

12 Comments:

Blogger bleughcentral said...

I was wondering have you tried building a set from your jogging i.e. starting with a slow-tempoed breathing pattern with a couple of classic exhalations thrown in to catch the listeners ear, then beat-match the heart and diaphragm for a pulsating midset pavement-filling flex-out followed by a gradual rising to an orgasmic fury of gasps and insufflations before falling into a quiet wheeze as you reach your house?

You could make a 2-disc compilation if you decided to do a marathon.

And by smoking loads you could add a gritty, urban bass tone to your respiration.

Actually, don't smoke loads.

September 13, 2004 at 2:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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September 15, 2004 at 3:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whilst many in the pop world get their heads down to a more brighter and clean-cut sound, Dido opts to take a more serene direction.
Life for Rent was always going to be a tough prospect for Dido--how to follow up the multi-million selling pile-o-shite No Angel? On initial inspection, it sounds like she's decided to stick to the safe option--if it ain't broke, keep it bland. So, it's business as usual with down-tempo beats, "lush" orchestrations, the odd bit of acoustic guitar and her distinctive voice as the stinking, festering cherry on top. However, a closer examination of the lyrics shows that the sweet happy English Rose has a much more darkcore side to her--the joyous revelations of tracks such as "Thank You" on her debut album have been replaced by the sound of her heart breaking, literally. Dido writes from the heart, sharing her personal life with her audience whether they want to hear it or not, so Life for Rent tells the tales of her life away from the recording studio, in particular her public break-up with her long-term boyfriend and vast drug debts she has mounted up since her initial success. With tales of rows ("Stoned"), confusion following an ended love affair ("White Flag") and her inability to keep off heroin ("Life for Rent"), it's insecurities, self doubt, drug abuse, ganja abuse and despair all around.
There is hope, with one of the album's musical highlights "Sand in My Shoes", which sees her going off on holiday for a drinking binge and embarking on a holiday romance--halfway between Club 18-30 and Shirley Valentine. It's impossible not to think of Bridget Jones being shafted by a boeing 747 when listening to the album, and this, in the first instance, is the audience for whom this album will reach out and touch.

"White Flag" was nominated for the 2004 Grammy Award for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance for some reason.
Imagine Beth Orton with a bit more of a pocked clit, and you'll have a good idea of the general approach on LIFE FOR RENT, UK pop "siren" Dido Armstrong's long-awaited follow-up to her 1999 debut album. Dido's light, feathery voice and simple, purposefully delivered melodies make for a predictable and cataclismically banal sound which sits atop a mixture of Jewel-like folk-pop and more contemporary, electronics-laden production a la her former group Faithless.

Most would shy from dido's sound like a fish shying from a deep-fat fryer but that is where the genius lies. If you don't jump into the fryer how will you ever know if you taste good or not. So come on give it a try and if your not completely satisfied then you've just wasted about £11.99 on a declamatory, vapid piece of watery sewage.

September 15, 2004 at 4:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Or alternatively try either of Nora Jones' albums. Her coffee table lite, 'Jazz influenced' compositions are an insult to the said genre and perfect for any middle of the road loving evil doer against music. This is singer songwriter pop pap at its absolute best. Millions worldwide surely cannot be wrong. Give them both a listen for around £25.

September 15, 2004 at 5:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

is dido on the h? seriously?

September 15, 2004 at 6:21 PM  
Blogger Jak said...

ps: my fitness regime has been discontinued due to some bastard leaking my phlegm tune to the internet. all my noises shall now be carried out within soundproof sweat absorbant jog pods.

September 15, 2004 at 6:33 PM  
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